I don’t need HELP!

My very own first car was a used Toyota Corolla, which I got it not long after obtaining my driving license.  I was very excited whenever I got to drive my car to anywhere.  Well… you know, that initial excitement when we get our new toys.  One particular evening, I visited a friend of mine and there was this small narrow road which led directly into his house.  Entering his house was no big deal but when I was going to leave his house, I realized that I need to reverse my car.  Being a newbie driver, I have very little experience and reverse driving was something not very easy for me.  Nevertheless, I reversed and…  The left side of the car went against the gate as I was reversing, leaving a long deep dented scratch that cost my mum few hundred ringgit to get it fixed.  I can’t remember whether mum scolded me or not but I could have avoided this little accident if I just asked for help from someone more experience to reverse my car for me.  I just did not ask for help.

As an entrepreneur or business person, asking for help is critical.  I noticed that a lot of people failed to achieve what they could have achieved simply because, they don’t ask for help.  People who hardly seek help are usually because of:


#1.  Pride or Ego

This happened mostly to guys.  Guys have this pride or ego that really prevent themselves from getting the necessary help, especially if asking help from ladies.  I am speaking from my own experience here.  Experience also can be one of the source of pride or ego.  Just because we have been through a lot in life doesn’t mean that we should not ask for help.  Let me share you a metaphor.  Imagine you are a swimmer and you represent the country in Olympics.  One day, as you are swimming in the swimming pool, one of your legs cramped.  You have two choices, ask for help or try to get out from the pool by yourself.  Obviously, the wiser choice is to ask for help, right?  You see, no matter how good or how experienced we are, there will come a time in life that we need others to help us.  No one is exempted from this.  Don’t let pride or ego kill you!


#2.  We think that we know enough

Many times, we think we know but actually, we don’t know.  The most dangerous part is that we don’t know that we don’t know.  I learned this from BNI Pioneer Kuching when I joined this wonderful chapter in 2016.  Having almost 20 years of experience in running and doing business, I considered myself a seasoned entrepreneur, and yet I found myself in a position whereby there are still too many things that I didn’t know.  The worst part was, all these while, I didn’t know that I don’t know!  Deep inside of me, I shivered!  I could have achieved more and faster if only I knew this earlier.  I also realized that because we think we know enough, we therefore never really ask for help.  We strongly believe that we can handle it all because we already know enough from all our experiences in life.  This can be a deadly mistake as an entrepreneur.  No matter how much we think we know, there are still plenty of things that we don’t actually know.


#3.  Self-limiting Belief System

“There’s no use in asking for help!  I tried too many times and nothing works!”  Sounded familiar?  This kind of B.S. (Belief System) can really prevent us from getting the help we really need in order to progress and succeed.  I believe that this B.S. are built upon our past experiences in asking for help.  We tend to generalize things just because of our few bad experiences in the past.  Those “too many times” were actually less than 100 times, not even 50 or not even 25 times.  Take a few minutes if you would, to actually try to remember clearly.  How many times that you actually asked for help, then you were being rejected, tricked, or even obtained useless help?  Are they 100 times?  No?  How about half of it?  No? 25 times?  No?  See, we limit ourselves by that B.S.  So, go ahead and ditch this B.S. and I can assure you, things will eventually change.



I have to use CAPITAL letters for this one!  There are people who are just lazy.  Intellectually, they know that they need help but they are just lazy.  Lazy people love to give excuses just to prove to others that they are not wrong.  THE MAGIC WORD I hear over and over again is the word “Troublesome”, “麻烦”, “Leceh”!  Whenever you try to talk a lazy person out, by giving them all the good ideas, plans or advises and they know these could really help them, this Magic Word will be thrown at you just because they are lazy.  If anyone wants to be successful and progress in life, laziness must go!  Stop giving so many useless excuses and decide to progress no matter what!  Seek help to overcome that laziness.  It is only by getting rid of laziness, you will start to progress.  Lazy people are not successful, successful people are not lazy.